Popular Chat Sites

There are quite a number of different websites that have ‘chat’ software – software that you use to connect up with other people over the internet and chat, exchange files, photos, web-cam links and other links. The way ‘chatting’ usually works is that you connect to a chat ‘room’ which can simultaneously contain a number of different people chatting. You can join in on the collective discussion, or, from the main rooms, you can select or request to chat privately with others in the room. 

Negotiating online

A number of web sites that feature chat rooms have guidelines on ‘safety on the net’ that are useful to refer to. ‘Meeting’ people online is very different than meeting people in a bar, or at other social events. Often what you think someone is like before you meet them in real life, or how they have described themselves, turns out to be very different to how you ‘really’ experience them. And just as there are a number of people in a bar you wouldn’t think of inviting home – so ‘online’ communities are made up of diverse and different people, not all of whom are honest.

 Here are some useful tips:

1. Don’t freely give out or distribute your home or mobile phone number or your primary email account…and remember that in Australia, if you make a call to a mobile phone, your own number will often be displayed.
2.  When meeting for the first time, arrange to meet in a busy public place like a bar or a club, or a coffee shop. You can always go somewhere more private later when you are sure you can trust them. Do not rely on the other person for transport - then you can leave whenever you want.
3. Let someone know who you are meeting and where. You can leave a note, keep a diary, e-mail a friend, or ask someone to phone you on your mobile (if you have one) to make sure you are all right.
4. Apply your common sense and the basic rules of personal safety. Maintain a healthy degree of suspicion: if anything seems odd, be careful. Trust your instincts. If you feel unsure about a situation, excuse yourself and leave immediately.
5. If you plan to meet a stranger for sex, be safe and take condoms and water-based lubricant with you in case you need them.
6. Don’t feel compelled or pressured to do anything you don’t want to. Should things get out of hand don’t hesitate to report it to the police or to gay and lesbian legal organisations - they’ll be more understanding than you think – or if you are not confident doing that seek advice from a local gay organisation.

Netiquette

What is Netiquette? Simply stated, it’s network etiquette — that is, the etiquette of cyberspace. When you enter any new culture — and cyberspace has its own culture — you’re liable to commit a few social blunders. Something about cyberspace makes it easy to forget that you’re interacting with other real people — not just characters on a screen, but live human characters. Various chat sites have their own ‘etiquette’ guidelines, but here are a few tips.

1. Remember you are interacting with real humans, not characters on a computer screen. Unfortunately, people often find it easier to be rude on-line. And all you have to communicate with is words – without the accompanying facial gestures or tone…and words alone can easily be misinterpreted.
2. It’s best to stick to the same standards of behaviour online that you follow in real life. Some people think that a lower standard of ethics or personal behaviour is acceptable in cyberspace. They are mistaken.
3. Netiquette rules differ between web sites – so know any specific rules for web sites you frequently use.
4. Words are all you have to ‘show’ yourself…so try to make sense and understand what you are talking about.
5. Be pleasant and polite.
6. Share your knowledge of the net. One of the great features of net communities is that ‘experts’ will often share their knowledge.
7. Keep ‘flaming’ (repeatedly typing a message, being abusive, the overuse of capitals) under control. ‘Flaming’ (expressing a strongly held opinion) is a net tradition. Flaming is allowable under netiquette. Flame wars however – an ongoing and long set of angry interchanges – are bad netiquette.
8. Respect other people’s privacy.

Many thanks to the Victorian AIDS Council for their resource The Cruising Guide. Please visit their website for more general information on cruising - http://www.vicaids.asn.au/outreach/cruising/