First Base: Making Visual Contact

As most bars and nightclubs are loud, dark and generally chaotic, and alcohol can dull the senses, making it to ‘First Base’ can be fraught with peril, such as initial eye contact. Is he looking at me, or someone behind me? Can he see me let alone focus? If these thoughts are running through your head and the situation doesn’t progress any further after awhile; go up to the guy and say hi; what have you got to lose?

Second Base: Seductive Touching

 Being in an environment such as a bar or a nightclub, physical contact can become rather amorous very quickly, which is great. However, be thoughtful of negotiating ‘Third Base’ before you slide into it.  Seductive touching is just that. It’s the promise of things to come. Being at ‘Second Base’ is a safe and wonderful place (no disappointment yet) as it still falls within the social etiquette of a gay social venue - kissing, cuddling and all that. And also from a safe sex practices viewpoint, there’s no exchange of body fluids that can transmit HIV or other STI’s.

Third Base: Getting Down & Doing It (hav’n sex)

Well if you’re both standing, or able to support yourselves, by the time you’ve reached ‘Third Base’ there are a few thing you’ve needed to take into consideration, such as negotiating safe sex (or making informed choices) and the appropriateness of where you’re going to do the deed. Due to general alcohol consumption or any other state-altering substance that guys may take at social venues, along with depleted energy levels; guys are susceptible to making general assumptions about each other’s sexual health or HIV status based on how they look and act leading up to ‘Third Base’. Don’t make assumption about the HIV status and sexual health of others. It’s so much safer to have the discussion of safe sex practices right at the beginning of ‘Third Base’. Ideally, covering this issue would be better handled at ‘Second Base’ but talking in bars and clubs is not always easy. 

Once you’ve both decided to ‘get down and do it’, go home or get a hotel room. Then you know you’re doing it legally. Having sex in a public place, including toilet cubicles in bars and clubs, is illegal, not to mention annoying to those who may be waiting to use the facilities for their true purpose. You would also most likely be banned from the venue if you are caught, as you would have put the venue management in danger of losing their trading license.

Going to gay bars and nightclubs to either find your soul mate, or just your weekend shag, can be an eventful and fruitful experience. Go in with a formulated plan of attack to keep you and your cruise mate both physically and sexually safe. Finally; always keep fresh condoms and a water based lubricant at hand either in your front pocket or on your night stand.