The last gay men’s periodical survey, (which is conducted every 2 years at Fairday), revealed some interesting information about how gay and bi men in Perth are deciding to have anal sex without condoms. There has been a considerable increase in men discussing HIV status with casual partners before deciding not to use condoms. There has also been an increase in the number of men having anal sex without condoms with multiple casual partners since their last HIV test.

What does this tell us? Basically, a person can honestly tell you that they believe they are HIV negative because their last test came back negative. However, can they honestly know that they are HIV negative, if they have had anal sex without condoms since their last test, or in the 12 weeks before their last test? The answer is “No”.

It starts becoming increasingly complicated when trying to work out your level of risk when using a casual partner’s assertion that they are negative. Have they really been tested, or do they just assume they are negative? Have they told you when their last test was? Have they told you how many partners they’ve had since their last test? Have they told you if they had anal sex without a condom with any of those partners? Have they told you if any condoms broke, or slipped off with any of those partners? Have they told you if they had any unprotected sex with anyone in the twelve weeks before their last test (the window period)?

Phew- quite a list of questions!! Here’s one more for you- is it reasonable to assume that you will have such an in depth and honest conversation, where no information has been left out, with a casual partner? Often casual sex is just about fun and getting your rocks off, and doesn’t include a discussion of the other person’s medical and sexual history…. We can still enjoy safe casual anal sex with condoms, but if it’s unprotected there is a risk for HIV and other STI infection, regardless of what the other person has said.

The situation can be further complicated by feelings for the other person when you know them well, or are starting out a relationship. You may want to show them that you trust and care for them, and that this is more than a casual relationship. Some people choose to symbolise a growing sense of intimacy by having unprotected anal sex. While it’s wonderful to feel a connection with a person, those feelings will not prevent HIV infection. It’s important to allow a relationship and a sense of trust to mature in a relationship. A good sign that this hasn’t happened yet is if the questions needed to make an informed choice about getting rid of condoms, are too difficult to ask. A respectful, trusting relationship with good communication should be able to handle these questions- if you’re relationships not there yet, consider sticking to condoms!